AIex 1,292 #1 Posted July 16, 2015 (edited) Send cv's to [email protected] 07/07/2015 12:35 Alex Corp. UK Branch Dear main office We are happy to report that this year we have seen substantial growth in our annual income. Our second fiscal quarter of the year had shown an increase of 20% of sales and we are currently at a 92% score for our customer service. Please can you inform the German Branch that we wish to send some of our employees to assist with their quarterly revenue. I am sure you have noticed that they have been on the decline in terms of inter- company ranking and we wish to help out our fellow employees. Yours sincerely Adam Stevenson (UK Branch manager) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10/07/2015 23:21 Alex Corp. US Branch Dear main office There seems to be an issue with the morale of a few of our leading managers. With talks of an incoming strike spreading through the office i felt that i should inform the main office so the appropriate actions can be carried out. I regret to bring this news to you, after our recent loss of Steve Kennedy during the Spain mission times have been hard for all of the staff. Yours sincerely Amanda Cartwright (US Branch HR Manager) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11/07/2015 7:56 Alex Corp. RUS Branch Dear main office I am appalled at the current actions carried out by the Italian branch. They have the audacity the wrongfully set up recon points with our borders. Not only will this be an issue internally but also with United Russia. We are already on thin ice with them after the oiling fiasco so i feel that we should mend our social relations with the current political party before we should carry out anymore "optimistic" ploys for the company. I have informed the Italy Branch about their transgressions but i feel that they are on the verge of mutiny. Please take the correct course of action and rectify the current situation before it has the chance to turn into something disastrous for the company Yours sincerely ÐлекÑандр Ðнтон (RUS Branch Manager) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 18/07/2015 9:21 Alex Corp. AR Branch Dear main office We are pleased to say that we are in the final stages of project "Urkel". We will sort out the transportation with our Japanese branch and inform you of the date once we have finalized it. We do require the full co-operation of our naval branch as conventional transport will place the project in peril. We hope to have the project fully shipped by the end of Q3. Your sincerely DR. Fernandez Rodriguez (AR Branch R&D Manager) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 18/07/2015 19:54 Alex Corp. Marine Branch Dear main office Orders have been received and we will ensure that project "Urkel" with reach the Japan branch unharmed. Yours sincerely Col. Steve Rodgers (Marine Branch) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 21/07/2015 6:05 Alex Corp. AQ Branch Dear main office The penguins have figured out how to make working boats. They are using the sweaters that we provided as sails and now intent to inhabit their own island. We will miss them greatly and wish them the best of luck in their future endeavors and will provide references if they wish to join Alex Corp. Yours sincerely Abdule Baker (AQ Branch largest polar bear) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 22/07/2015 16:56 Alex Corp. Magic Branch Dear main office We regret to inform you that we have lost one of our finest fisherman. Greg James was tragically lost during the ritual as his body fell into the ocean. We give our condolences to his family and sent out a grievance cheque of £20,000. Yours sincerely Abra Kazam (Magic Branch Head magician) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2/06/2015 8:21 Alex Corp. Fish and Chips Branch Dear main office We are currently in a situation where we are infested with seagulls. Our own hubris was our downfall. I am writing to inform you that we are in the process of closing our branch as we see no way to recuperate our loses. Inform our families of our demise and please provide them with the grievance cheques Yours sincerly Steve Kennedy (Fish and Chips Branch Head chippy lady) Edited July 17, 2015 by ABCAlex 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fever 9,884 #2 Posted July 16, 2015 I buy you. Make me an offer in uber taxis. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AIex 1,292 #3 Posted July 17, 2015 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 22/07/2015 16:56 Alex Corp. Magic Branch Dear main office We regret to inform you that we have lost one of our finest fisherman. Greg James was tragically lost during the ritual as his body fell into the ocean. We give our condolences to his family and sent out a grievance cheque of £20,000. Yours sincerely Abra Kazam (Magic Branch Head magician) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2/06/2015 8:21 Alex Corp. Fish and Chips Branch Dear main office We are currently in a situation where we are infested with seagulls. Our own hubris was our downfall. I am writing to inform you that we are in the process of closing our branch as we see no way to recuperate our loses. Inform our families of our demise and please provide them with the grievance cheques Yours sincerly Steve Kennedy (Fish and Chips Branch Head chippy lady) 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
D-Bee 3,448 #4 Posted July 18, 2015 madness... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
