Ubersaw Envy

[Chamrox 0]

Some medic's ubersaws are longer than others! Especially Wonka's.

Just the other day, I was on Goldrush, stage two, when all of a sudden I die, and notice that I had Wonka's ubersaw in my ear and he was standing like 50 feet away.

This simply isn't fair. Whenever I whip out my ubersaw it is short and flaccid. I try to stab enemies with it, but they merely laugh at the squishing sound. But not Wonka. Whenever he is on the server, he is hitting everyone long and hard and in the right places. Hell, I can stab someone 50 times and won't even achieve uber. He can stab someone once and achieve multiple ubers then he shares his uber with his friends. I never get to share an uber with my friends, always alone.

I blame my tiny ubersaw for my problems. If only there was a script or something that could enhance my ubersaw, maybe I can be as popular with all the heavys as Wonka... I blame Mana for not promoting ubersaw size equity enhancements on the server.

[Rivanor 1]

Yes, but unless you can uber the heavy, then your own uber doesn't really matter that much.

[h3gi 5]

I suggest you find another Medic who shares your problem. Lots of Medics suffer from Extension Dysfunction syndrome, and it's great for them to play around with each other, find each other's weaknesses and boosting each other's morales. In fact, it's sometimes led to some of the greatest ubers reported, even more so than with Heavies and Demos, ubering back and forth multiple times per night.

[Chamrox 0]

But.. what would my friends say if they saw me with another medic, flitting around the map with our ubersaws thrusting everywhere while covered in the bright glow of a freshly deployed uber?

I've been curious what that is like, but I have friends who have done medic on medic, and they say that it's great for a little while, and gets you a lot of attention, but soon you just want a plain old demo or heavy.

[Mike808 1]

I suggest you find another Medic who shares your problem. Lots of Medics suffer from Extension Dysfunction syndrome, and it's great for them to play around with each other, find each other's weaknesses and boosting each other's morales. In fact, it's sometimes led to some of the greatest ubers reported, even more so than with Heavies and Demos, ubering back and forth multiple times per night.

haha wtf

[+Henry Spencer 117]

Proceed...

[The Lorax 25]

Do not despair. Do not be afraid.

There is nothing wrong with medic on medic love. There can be few things greater. Some may shun you. Others may simply not understand your love, but rest assured that what you are doing is a natural thing. When the time comes, enjoy it while it lasts. Treasure the time you spend together, because all good things must come to an end. Your relationship will inevitably fall apart, but do not despair. You will find another - someday, and if all else fails, you can give your uber love to a demoman, pyro, or a heavy, and rejoice in the knowledge that at least a few people will die, and although it may never be the same as with your fellow medic, it still feels amazing.

[Chamrox 0]

So, are you saying that another medic will not be concerned with the size of my ubersaw? Most medics I know obsess about ubersaw size more than some heavies.

[The Lorax 25]

Saw envy is a serious problem, but remember, It's not the size of the saw, it's how you use it.

[h3gi 5]

It's hardly as fierce a competition as with Snipers. Every one of them boasts about how much they connect their shots with different classes, but in reality, they secretly go after one another first, frantically trying at each other to get to the other's head first.

[Chamrox 0]

Don't get me started on Snipers.... they'll hide behind a wall and call your name, all the while scoping out other classes while you give him your healing touch. Every time one falls prey to a spy, I think they get what they deserve. Looking is cheating and they never help with the housework!

[+Henry Spencer 117]

If your heavy doesn't love your Ubersaw, just switch to Bonesaw. Sure, he may not like the change, but when he needs healing, he'll come crawling back to you. I guarantee it. Other medics probably won't like you anymore.

[h3gi 5]

Poor Spy has to do his job by surprise from behind. Since no one wants to be with him, he has to sneak around alone, waiting for the unwary. I know when I'm walking down that long hallway, I always look behind my shoulder in case there's a predator lurking in the shadows, waiting until I'm alone, exposed.

[Rivanor 1]

Heavies need lots of preparation. Make sure your heavy is fully overhealed before ubering. A lot of medics uber without bothering to prepare their heavy, then wonder why their heavy is just sitting there instead of screaming "I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!"

[Chamrox 0]

Heavies need lots of preparation.

Preparation H? Is that what comes out of the kritzkrieg?

Oh, and my bonesaw is smaller than my ubersaw. I doubt if that would help anything!

/low hanging fruit

[Miyari 33]

I have nothing to say other than that I absolutely love this thread.

[LunchBox 10]

Don't laugh. It gets bigger, I swear!

[OVER9000JEWGOLDS 0]