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Henry Spencer

E3 2009

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These guys are such fanboys, it makes me wanna puke. The Nintendo conference, for example:

"WOW THEY SURE SHOWED US HOW MUCH I NEED TO HAVE MOTION+"

"Wii THEMED CASUAL SHIT"

"US HARDCORE GAMERS, EH?"

"MANY PEOPLE AFTER LAST YEAR'S CONFERENCE TRADED IN THEIR WIIS. NO ONE IS GONNA OWN ONE NOW."

"TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR 10

(the 10 is the FPS)"

"They are DYING out there

SOMEONE DO SOMETHING

OH LOOOOOOOOOL

BASKETBALLL OMG"

And it goes on and on and on, until Golden Sun DS hits.

"GOLDEN FUCKING SUN"

"HOLY SHIT WHAT"

"FUCK YES GOLDEN SUN DS"

"GOLDEN SUN DS?! I CAME"

"HOLY FUCK GOLDEN SUN"

"GOLDEN SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN"

"GOLDEN FUCKEN SUN DS"

"GOLDEN SUN DS.

NINTENDO YOU AWESOME MOTHER FUCKERS."

"FUUUCK YEAH THE REGGINATOR DELIVERS"

"GOLDEN SUN DS OMGOMGOMG"

What the fuck is Golden Sun anyways?

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RPG for Game Boy Advance. Pretty cool game, I loved it. Although I was excited when I heard of a 3rd one coming out, I wasn't THAT excited, not even close.

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These guys are such fanboys, it makes me wanna puke. The Nintendo conference, for example:

"WOW THEY SURE SHOWED US HOW MUCH I NEED TO HAVE MOTION+"

"Wii THEMED CASUAL SHIT"

"US HARDCORE GAMERS, EH?"

"MANY PEOPLE AFTER LAST YEAR'S CONFERENCE TRADED IN THEIR WIIS. NO ONE IS GONNA OWN ONE NOW."

"TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR 10

(the 10 is the FPS)"

"They are DYING out there

SOMEONE DO SOMETHING

OH LOOOOOOOOOL

BASKETBALLL OMG"

And it goes on and on and on, until Golden Sun DS hits.

"GOLDEN FUCKING SUN"

"HOLY SHIT WHAT"

"FUCK YES GOLDEN SUN DS"

"GOLDEN SUN DS?! I CAME"

"HOLY FUCK GOLDEN SUN"

"GOLDEN SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN"

"GOLDEN FUCKEN SUN DS"

"GOLDEN SUN DS.

NINTENDO YOU AWESOME MOTHER FUCKERS."

"FUUUCK YEAH THE REGGINATOR DELIVERS"

"GOLDEN SUN DS OMGOMGOMG"

What the fuck is Golden Sun anyways?

So are you just really against Nintendo or something? What your saying makes no sense at all. Were you hanging around the playpin at a McDonalds when you were talking to these fanboys?

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...

E3 2009 with 4chan's /v/

I'm summarizing the Nintendo Conference thread from earlier. Every quote was from someone in the thread.

In case you haven't been to 4chan, that is what the average user sounds like.

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Golden Sun was very, very good. Golden Sun DS sounds very, very good. However, it's just going to be yet another great DS RPG. Goody, there's already tons of them. It still won't help the Wii from drowning in this fabricated pit of its own self-importance.

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The new Metroid looks... iffy. Yeah, it's impressive the stuff they could crank out of the Wii, but it seems to be going in an entirely different direction. The original Metroids were extremely powerful in the sense of adventure and atmosphere, were you were a lone warrior in space and everything around you threatens to take your life. With Team Ninja, there's nothing subtle about anything, just in-your-face run-and-gun action with explosions everywhere. I'll definitely give it a go if I get a chance; it DOES look like fun, and Nintendo IS at the helm at least part-time.

The Prime series is at the end of its life, though, so a new approach was necessary, I suppose.

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Xbox360s motion capture BLEW ME AWAY, IMAGINE IT WITH ASSASSINS CREED 2. I WOULD SHIT MYSELF IN PUBLIC IN ORDER TO PLAY THEM TOGETHER

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Xbox360s motion capture BLEW ME AWAY, IMAGINE IT WITH ASSASSINS CREED 2. I WOULD SHIT MYSELF IN PUBLIC IN ORDER TO PLAY THEM TOGETHER

It looks interesting, but I don't know if it'll be as awesome as it would seem at first glance. I am definitely looking forward to it, though. There are some problems with motion control that unless they're worked out can pose a pretty big problem (Eye toy anyone? Yeah, that was fun for all of 5 minutes.) I hope MS is able to make it work!

Quoth a blog I read occasionally:

Who the hell has enough living room space to actually act out anything remotely resembling game actions without breaking something?

Like a lamp.

Or an arm.

And what about other people in the room? The thing is supposed to map out the entire room to detect your motion. Theoretically, you may have other people in the room.

How will that affect gameplay?

You're just about to kill someone in Mortal Kombat. You've torn him to shreds and you're about to deliver the killing blow.

Then Scorpion's mom walks in behind you and asks if you mowed the lawn.

Awkward.

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