Ok, Half Your Team Is N00bs

[Chamrox 0]

Ok, you're playing on a 24/7 server and, for some reason, it seems like half your team is n00b. They're doing stupid stuff like stacking Engie equipment, standing in the middle of a thoroughfare, playing sniper and having a bad line, just doing n00b stuff.

The question to you is: Do you tell them something?

It's my policy to let a n00b be a n00b. If they put their SG on top of mine, I say nothing and collapse my SG and build somewhere else. If they put up a stupid teleporter, or can't get an exit up, I say nothing. If they blow their uber WAY too early, I say nothing.

The logic is, educate a n00b, and you help your team that day, but at what cost? Honestly, next time you see him, he's just as likely to be on the other team as your own. You just made him better at defeating you.

I think it's funny at the number of guys that get into a full blown rage at n00bs. Just let them be n00bs!

[Nket 16]

trial through fire.

[Miyari 33]

Rage. Nothing but rage. Unless there's only 6 snipers. You always need more snipers.

[h3gi 5]

I yell at them once. Sometimes they learn, then I'm happy. If it doesn't work, IT'S TEAMSWITCH TIME.

Edited March 12, 2009 by h3gi

[Melissia 7]

Most of them won't pay any attention to you. Answer questions if they ask, but nothing more.

[kuttlewug 28]

I won't say a thing if they're doing badly I'll try to do more to make up for it. If they're a medic who heals one person constantly I'll switch it up to medic and try to get around to everybody.

[friedrice 8]

I like to dance around them as a scout saying "need a teleporter here" and hitting them with a bat. It actually works sometimes.

[Rivanor 1]

Ok, you're playing on a 24/7 server and, for some reason, it seems like half your team is n00b.

[troll]you mean half your team is playing pyro? [/troll]

[redruM_13 17]

Everybody is a noob at sometime.... right? How did you learn?

[+Henry Spencer 117]

Last time I was a true noob at a game was back in '04, when I played Doom 3. Got turned down by a clan I applied to, so I downloaded a defrag map and got to work. 100+ hours later, I could rocket jump and strafe like it was second nature. Everything else I've played, I just see it as extensions of things I learned playing Doom. Except air control, I learned that later in Q4, working on defrag maps in that game.

I miss the good ol' days sometimes. I was one of the best when it came to strafing in Doom 3. I trained a bunch of people myself. Eventually they passed me, but there was one guy who blew us all away. He came into a tourney server, and when it was his turn to play, he exhibited all the characteristics of a noob: he walked everywhere, he had autoswitch on (whenever you picked up a weapon, it automatically switched to what you picked up), his reflexes were terribly slow, etc...

Well, it was a 10 minute, 10 point tourney. For the first 3 minutes, he gets decimated. Spawn fragged numerous times, horribly outgunned and outmanned on others. So the score is 9-0, and he says, "All right, that's enough of an advantage." I scoffed at it, until he respawned... I had never seen, and still haven't seen, anyone move that fast. He used freaking air control in a game with Earth gravity, which most of us dismissed as impossible. It was like watching a goddamn blur.

To make a long story short, he ended up winning 10-5. How was it 10-5, you ask? He made the other guy kill himself 4 times, through various means. And the final kill was rather spectacular. In the open center of the map, his opponent jumped down off a higher ledge at him with a chaingun. Hit him 3 times in mid-air, and as he was about to hit the floor and suicide again, he pulled out the shotgun and killed him.

/nostalgia

Bear with me... I had some good times in D3.

But really, it didn't take much for me to really get into the game. I started off as engie, and just mimicked what the other engies did. Then I observed what my teammates did. Being decent at all the classes took some time though.

BONUS: I griefed an achievement server for fun today:

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2n1ibe1&s=5

[KillerKeg 10]

I push "o".

[Stabby McKnife-Face 17]

I'm usually part of the "problem" since I play for the lolz.

It's so much more fun watching newbs make honest mistakes and listening to regs whine over mic. There have been times where I've had lapses of judgement and I've actually spoken up about these things, but it's rare enough where it's a negligible factor.

[You suck and have no life 203]

I keep yelling till the motherfkers either learn, leave, or switch to the other team. If that doesnt work, I teamswap and own my former newb allies.

[Ahti 0]

The problem is that you can't classify all the bad players into general "n00b" group. They all my seem terrible to you but each one of them is different. One "n00b" could be someone who is new to the game and actively trying to improve his skills but since he has only played the game for a few hours so he can't help being bad. These generally turn into very good players after a decent amount of time, think of it as a magikarp evolving into a gyarados. Another type of "n00b" are the people who are good or somewhat good just fucking around. A good example of this is good players going to a server for the sole purpose of trying to get taunt kills (its harder than it looks btw). The worst type of "n00b" which I will rightfully dub "perman00b" starts off as a "n00b" but does not improve at all. He is perfectly ok with his current playing ability and does not wish to improve at all. These are the type of people which I have wonderful sadistic fantasies of. There are other types but these are the big sub groups of the main "n00b" group.

I don't mind helping "n00b" that's trying to improve since he will use the knowledge given to him. The "perman00bs" will not ask questions nor will he listen to advice so helping him is out of the question due to the fact that you will get an "I LIKE TURTLES"-esque response, or just nothing at all for that matter.

The mindset of a learning "n00b", and for lulz

In case you don't get the turtle refernence:

[You suck and have no life 203]

The problem is that you can't classify all the bad players into general "n00b" group. They all my seem terrible to you but each one of them is different. One "n00b" could be someone who is new to the game and actively trying to improve his skills but since he has only played the game for a few hours so he can't help being bad. These generally turn into very good players after a decent amount of time, think of it as a magikarp evolving into a gyarados. Another type of "n00b" are the people who are good or somewhat good just fucking around. A good example of this is good players going to a server for the sole purpose of trying to get taunt kills (its harder than it looks btw). The worst type of "n00b" which I will rightfully dub "perman00b" starts off as a "n00b" but does not improve at all. He is perfectly ok with his current playing ability and does not wish to improve at all. These are the type of people which I have wonderful sadistic fantasies of. There are other types but these are the big sub groups of the main "n00b" group.

I don't mind helping "n00b" that's trying to improve since he will use the knowledge given to him. The "perman00bs" will not ask questions nor will he listen to advice so helping him is out of the question due to the fact that you will get an "I LIKE TURTLES"-esque response, or just nothing at all for that matter.

The mindset of a learning "n00b", and for lulz

In case you don't get the turtle refernence:

You obviously failed evolution. Evolution occurs over generations and not over a single life span. That being said, that fish would be dead. Darwin would have been upset at you.

[+Henry Spencer 117]

That's a Magikarp...

[Ahti 0]

as Henry said, that's a Magikarp...

[Nket 16]

MAGIKARP KARP MAGI KARP. GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.

[h3gi 5]

You obviously failed evolution. Evolution occurs over generations and not over a single life span. That being said, that fish would be dead. Darwin would have been upset at you.

Because Darwin's teachings were the sole foundation of inspiration for the Pokemon evolution system and were meant to be perfectly represented as direct homage.

[Repth (Hatred) 2]

Ok, you're playing on a 24/7 server and, for some reason, it seems like half your team is n00b. They're doing stupid stuff like stacking Engie equipment, standing in the middle of a thoroughfare, playing sniper and having a bad line, just doing n00b stuff.

The question to you is: Do you tell them something?

It's my policy to let a n00b be a n00b. If they put their SG on top of mine, I say nothing and collapse my SG and build somewhere else. If they put up a stupid teleporter, or can't get an exit up, I say nothing. If they blow their uber WAY too early, I say nothing.

The logic is, educate a n00b, and you help your team that day, but at what cost? Honestly, next time you see him, he's just as likely to be on the other team as your own. You just made him better at defeating you.

I think it's funny at the number of guys that get into a full blown rage at n00bs. Just let them be n00bs!

i think that you should help but not sacrifice your own game to help... cause seriously everyone at one point or another has wanted to ask a question or asked a question regardless of it being noobish.....

also think about it some ppl arnt as adept at things as others try opening up your mind and being a decent person instead of the asshole.... make sence?

and if you are good at something naturaly isn't the whe point of the game to work as a team? isnt teamwork helping the engies build up or being bait so the demo can get 8 at once with a sticky cluster ..... isnt teamwork also assisting your lesser team mates instead of being self centered?

regardless just treat others as you want to be treated .... it's that simple ... if they are your oponent the next day does it matter ? that means there is more of a chance for a fair decent match ..... lol

[Tom Carvel 0]

I usually tell "n00bs" to play heavy.

Then I play demo and use them as a meat shield. A textbook case of turning your lemons into piles of exploded meat on the floor.

[OVER9000JEWGOLDS 0]

I usally donate to lotus so I switch teams like you have no life does and PWN the noobs.

When I am sick of their noobfaggery I start a mute vote (most noobs ask if their mic is working)

There was one EPIC game though in which L| Mana, L| Killerkeg, L| Phantasmo, L| Nket & L|Miyari we playing (I was on their team) it was dustbowl and the noobs did not like themselves (butthurt) because they sucked and they couldnt get the sentries up or something like that. All the L|uitenants decided to show compassion to the newbs by DOMINATING the shit out of these newbs. One of them decided to rally all of his friends together (internet toughguy) and gang up on the people with the most kills on our team. L| Mana opened up the gate before the game started, so I went out on the side where none of them could see me (i was pyro of coure) and burnt all of the newb snipers(they all went sniper) Dominated 7 people, loled at the newb faggery and went back into my spawn point to wait for the match to begin

(L| Mana even gave these newbs additional time to try and prevent the cp capture but they failed like all newbs do)